It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
