you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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