I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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