Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
