i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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