Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
