Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
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