Well apparently he's into motor boating.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
