I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Randomize
