She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
