Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
