Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
