She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
