We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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