The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
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