Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
