How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Randomize
