I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
smell my finger.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
