Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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