He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
