Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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