I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
