I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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