we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
i need some magic done to my vagina
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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