Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
