we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
