She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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