I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
