i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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