That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
