PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
