is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
