Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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