I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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