You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
