apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
