Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize
