This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
