I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Randomize
