spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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