She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
