i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
dude. I can hear the air.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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