Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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