Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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