I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
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