ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
