last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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