I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
