Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Randomize
