He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
