I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
