whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Randomize