Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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