You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
We had to coat check the pizza.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
