If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Randomize
